Stay Out of the Basement

Plot Summary: Casey and Margaret's dad is a crazy scientist who enjoys plant experiments. He starts behaving weirdly and freaks both of them out so they break into his private work area in the basement only to be freaked out even more by human/plant hybrids. Eventually they find their real dad in the basement and, after some good old-fashioned ambiguity, manage to kill the replacement plant dad.

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Another surprisingly good one, albeit with a decidedly smaller scale plot and setting. The plot is so obvious it hurts but it's at least more original than some of them and the dad/plant hybrid provides some genuinely creepy moments. In fact, the hybrids in general are pretty horrifying. They're clearly sentient and in a lot of pain, and the descriptions of the plant faces are really well done. The twist ending is completely naff though and oddly hilarious. It would have been much better (though more predictable I guess) to have the dad bleed green or something. But hey, there are plenty of Goosebumps books later on that aren't afraid to mess with your faith in your loved ones.

I'd also like to say just look at that cover. That's not scary, that's freaking hilarious.

Idiot of the year award: Mr. Martinez. Hey, so this guy we fired went on to create an insane plant version of himself who locked me in a wardrobe. Better rehire him!

Terrible family alert: Mrs. Brewster who upon finally returning home to discover her husband has been conducting mad experiments, putting their entire family at risk, has only the following words to say: "Kids-what have you done?"

Best of friends: Margaret and Diane, who openly calls Margaret's dad a mad scientist. She's right but still

Ms. Unisex: Casey

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Welcome to Dead House

Plot Summary: The main characters move into a house apparently inherited from a mysterious uncle. Turns out the whole neighbourhood are zombie/vampire creatures and they want to kill them so they can all stay living in the neighbourhood forever.

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Wow, this was much better written than I remembered/expected. To me, the Goosebumps books were always a mash-up of weird plots, childish prose and endless dumb cliffhangers. Almost none of that is present in the first instalment, perhaps with the exception of the cliffhanger thing which at least is less intrusive than I remember. Plus this book has actual scary elements! I mean, considering the age group it's aimed at. Faces melt off, dogs die and become zombie-things, the main characters kill a guy...I was actually pretty impressed. Maybe this won't be the snark-fest I hoped for.

Idiot of the year award: Goes to Josh 'Let's explore the cemetery in the middle of the night' Benson. Shoutout to all the zombie kids too who casually reveal they all lived in the murder house.

Terrible family alert: Hey, a mysterious uncle left me a house. Do I know who he is? Nope. Am I going to attempt to contact anyone to find out? Nope.

Best of friends: Josh and Petey the dog. Even death can't-actually no, they totally abandon the zombie dog.

We can trust him right?: Mr. Dawes, the guy who brought them there. There's no way HE'S evil.

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