Monday 1 February 2016

Monster Blood

(Apologies for the bad cover quality, it was the only one I could find!)

Plot Summary: Evan has to go live with his crazy deaf aunt because his parents are terrible and incapable of caring for a child whilst on holiday. He meets Andy, gets the hots for her and buys a jar of 'Monster Blood'. It starts growing and eventually eating people because it was enchanted by an evil witch in cat form. They feed the witch to the monster blood and this magically solves everything (at least until the bajillion sequels).

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This book is actually relatively dull considering it spawned so many sequels. It takes ages for anything to actually happen and then when it does, what happens is batshit crazy. Up until now, the Goosebumps books have had relatively straightforward plots. I mean, kudos for unpredictability I guess? It's not a bad book but I enjoyed it less than the others. The monster blood is only scary for a very short period of time and then everything kind of gets solved conveniently without adequate explanation. To be fair, when it actually starts eating people the monster blood is pretty ghoulish. I'm guessing the only reason the description of the bullies being still and faceless inside the blood blob was allowed was because it gets reversed at the end. Boo. But the cat witch getting sucked in without making a single sound is also a nice creepy image for the kiddies. What a shame the scare to bore ratio is sucky.

Most inane conversation: I'm so glad Andy likes stupid names. I'm so glad they talk about it for over a page. I'm so glad they bring it up again a few pages later.

Terrible family alert: One of the first questions Evan's crazy aunt asks is 'He likes the girls?'. Presumably she would cast him out to be homeless if he didn't.

Biggest troll: Okay, so Evan's aunt is crazy because she's secretly the slave of the evil cat witch. Except the cat witch didn't make her say or do any of the insane/weird things she does. She just decides to be horrible to Evan because why not?

Ms. Unisex: Andy

Rating:

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